Missionaries and suffering

I have been sick in some form or fashion for 10 months now.  

Me + pregnancy = almost death.  ;/   

And the 10 weeks since the emergency c-section has brought one trial after another in my body.

As I cried out to God asking "why" over the past few weeks - I have finally found some peace.  

We had missionaries come by and visit us all throughout the day one day last week....

....and I was astonished at the stories they told me of what they faced their first year on the field.  

One guy had to return to the states after only 3 weeks during their first term for an emergency surgery.  

Another had to go home to the states for an emergency back surgery and ended up being in bed for 7 months recovering in the states.  

One wife went to the field already being a native Spanish speaker and shut down because of the culture shock and hardly left their home the first year.

Tragic stories - but they brought me peace... knowing others have suffered in the midst of their obedience to missions.  

I am not alone in my experience.  

I am not the only one that has faced difficulties.  Suffering does not mean we have missed God or that we are failing God somehow.... these veteran missionaries assured me that many times our suffering is part of the journey.

I am seeing my doctor this week and will post an update soon.

Now I am endeavoring to just walk with God and hold his hand until we are through this.

Trusting Him.  I hope one day I will look back and understand all of this, but even if I don't - yet will I trust Him.

Europe is a dark spiritual climate.  They need an outpouring of God's spirit.  Our work will will not go forward without a fight.  But our God is stronger!