Media Masters

When we decided we wanted to spend a year in DC with NCC - the main reason was so that Brad could really dive into all things video ministry.



What we didn't know was that not only does NCC have THE MOST amazing media team on staff anywhere- but that these guys are beyond AMAZING. Truly BRILLIANT TECHIE MASTERMINDS! They even have their own websites.... http://www.daveclark.com/ http://www.davidrussell.org/ Check it out and you will see what I mean! Geez!



My head feels like it might fall off after listening to them sometimes. I don't think Brad and I are wired for that level of media ministry....it is like being at the deepest part of the ocean in the techie world! We are just snorkeling from the video boat! :)

VALUE

Interesting that the verses I am studying use the word VALUE. Basically, "NOTHING matters in comparison to the VALUE of Knowing Christ".

Value. Something I struggle with, believe it or not. What makes me valuable? I think I have struggled my entire adult life with this. I am a goal oriented person. Whatever I am accomplishing is what makes me feel valuable.

But I have felt God asking me - "even if you are not successful in ministry, even if you are not successful financially, even if you are not successful by the worlds standards.... 'will I be enough'?

That question has sucked the breath out of me. And my answer showed me that I am not abandoned to Jesus like I used to be. I don't want to think about loss or failure. Yet would He be enough? Can I place my value - not in ministry - not in success - not in stability - but in God alone? It is a renewed process...but I hope I am getting there.

From Trials come Perseverance

There is a verse that talks about trials producing perseverance in us. Most of us would rather pass on the perseverance b/c we don't want the trials! And I am one of them!

However, these first 6 months in DC have begun to do this in me. I am beginning to see GOD'S HAND in everything. Some would say - "Oh, if you have any trouble - then that means you are out of God's will"! I would hasten to remind them - "Then Jesus, Paul, and all the other apostles must have REALLY been out of God's will!"

I have been studying Philippians. Philippians 3:7-8 is rocking my world. "But everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss b/c of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing VALUE of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."

Having a salary, having money, having a home, having success.....none of this matters in comparison to KNOWING Jesus.

I know Him. I have committed my life to Him. But our trials are causing me to grow deeper roots and realize that I have lost my deep intimacy with Him. I am afraid words can't explain it.

I am praying that God will reveal Himself in my life more than ever before.

Superbowl Sunday on the National Mall

NCC traditionally plays some tag football on the national mall every year on Superbowl Sunday. It was cool just to be there that day. Framed by the Capitol, the Smithsonian Castle, the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, and the Washington Monument.

Macy was learning to "juggle" her one orange! And Mia was carrying around her doggie purse!

First Snow

So we move "north" to Washington DC expecting to have much more weather than NW Arkansas. Wrong. We had our first snow a couple of weeks ago. While a massive ice storm hit NW Arkansas...and many of our friends and family were out of power for 6-9 DAYS! I hear they are still cleaning up the wreckage from the trees there. Actually, they have been having "winter" all winter...while we have just had a few cold days here. Weird.

First Friends to Visit

FINALLY - we had some friends visit! And quite spur of the moment I might add! Nothing like spontaneity! It was such a gift to have the Williams drive 18 hours to visit for 2 days and then drive 18 hours home. Wow.

And the gift was probably the greatest for Macy. Macy and Raegan have been together since the day they born (3 weeks apart). Then they were together in the church nursery every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wed night. Then they were in preschool together. There is just something magical that happened as they fought and played like sisters! These girls have a bond that I appreciate and love. Especially since I never experienced a friendship like that growing up.

Rachel and I thought that they would just go nuts when they saw each other. But they both just smiled and hugged as if it was just last week when they saw each other last! Too funny! Then they played non stop for 48 hours with a small break at night for sleeping! It has been 5 months since Macy has had anyone to play with in that capacity! Someone she is free to fight with and free to play with! Oh the love!

River and Mia played together wonderfully too! Mia fondly calls him "Wiver".

These insane friends of ours - after driving 18 hours to see us - wanted to drive an additional 3 hours to the east coast beach - JUST so they could say they had seen the Atlantic (Wyatt)! In 32 degree weather mind you! At the advice of Pastor Mark we went to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware and ate a quick bite at Grotto's pizza before walking on the insanely freezing beach! We of course stopped somewhere for some seafood before heading back...but it was just "ok". After 6 hours of driving we crashed back at our house and then they left out at 4 AM to head home. What pycho friends we have! :)

People who make me cry

Those who know me well - know that I am just not much of a cryer. Yet the sheer reality of this season in our lives has me wearing tears on my cheeks more often than I would like.

One evening right before Christmas I was standing in the kitchen opening up the mail. On this particular night there was a card and a check from my grandparents in Fordyce for $50. I started feeling tears burning in the corners of my eyes. Then there was another card from Skip May with a check for $200...and tears began to run over. Then there was another card from Ms. Ula. Along with her card and Christmas gift...was an envelope for the girls....with a $2 bill for each of them. Sobs began to clutch my throat. Not only were these financial gifts timely. But the love and thought behind each of them blanketed me with such a feeling of being cared for.

Especially for Macy and Mia. We left a place where they were so loved and cherished. Everyone brightened when they saw them. Here, no one really knows them. They don't get "special" little things anymore. They probably haven't noticed - but Ms. Ula's card brought back all of the memories of people showering love on my children. So I headed to the shower trying to hold myself together....and on my way up the stairs I look down to see our picture of Ms. Linda and Melinda.....and the rivers of tears broke through the dam! Linda loves all children...sure....but she showed LOVE to our girls. Good grief at the tears. I spent probably 20 minutes sobbing in the shower. Just from the love we received in the mail....and the love that I miss.

February Update

FEBRUARY UPDATE

First of all, I just finished reading Brad's latest blog post. He has gotten to where he occasionally blogs about something....and I always enjoy it. It speaks to me. I love my guy. Check it out at: http://www.bradmcmath.blogspot.com/

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And as usual - our "update" post will be a little long - and then I will add some "snippets" every day the rest of this week!

Do my family and friends really want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly about this season of our lives? Or do they want the "mask"? In an effort of authenticity....I am going for the real deal. ..Sharing our trials in hope that people can pray specifically, and that others may be encouraged if they face similar circumstances.

So, how are we this month? Good question. I still go back to KNOWING that we were supposed to come to DC. That is what has gotten me through every day so far. This journey has not looked anything like we imagined. I am learning to CHOOSE to enjoy every day even though some of our life circumstances are frustrating. Added note: I have been thinking of Moses as I have considered our season of life right now. When he stood before the Red Sea with the Israelites - did he question if he had heard from God? When they had no food to eat in the desert - did he somehow lose his faith in God....or WAIT for the miracle.....the manna...

HOW ARE THINGS NOT LIKE WHAT WE EXPECTED?

First, we knew that this year was going to be tight - but I don't think we could have imagined how strained we would feel. Our recent move to outside of the city has caused some turmoil. We wait for a new renter to take the house in DC. However, God opened wide the door for us to move into this other house. Rent is cheaper. It feels like a "home" and not a "pit". Macy is in school.

YET - He sends a miracle in His way. Not my way. But HIS way.

...After showing the DC house again and again - with many people seeming interested, yet not taking it....we knew we needed to turn the showing of the house over to the management company. If we paid them a $1000 fee they would advertise the house on their website and show it and find a new tenant. (However we are still responsible to pay the rent until there is a new renter). We KNEW that we could not continue to drive in every night and weekend to spend literally hours showing the house with no one taking it. But we also knew we didn't have the $1000. ....

That VERY weekend we got a call that a lady, we will call her Brenda, had taken a check to her church for $1000 and said - I don't know why - but I have been troubled all day - and you need to send this to Brad & Glenda. Wow. What a God thing.

God just cracks me up sometimes. Now, can anyone tell me WHY He didn't just send someone to rent that house and let it be over with? It is like He is just baiting me to KEEP TRUSTING HIM! So I have set aside the worrying, the anxiety, the "me figuring this thing out"....and I am just trusting Him. I don't know how. I don't know when. I can't worry enough to figure it out. I just know He gave me a little ray of hope with this miracle - enough for me to say, "OK. Thank you that you still see us and you still care."

One thing that has stood out to me about this - is that even though God is ABLE to make money appear miraculously and anonymously in our mailbox...He uses HIS people to fulfill His purposes. If 'Brenda' wasn't obedient to God - where would we be? Could He still have provided? Sure....but it wouldn't have been according to His perfect plan.

I dream that one day God is going to bless us and bring us to the point where WE are the ones God is using to pour blessing into other's lives. For some reason He has us in a season right now of being the ones in need. Humbling. At one time in my life I wasn't willing to take anything from anyone. My pride said, "I can do it myself. I don't need anyone's help". I can tell you that Glenda would never have chosen the path of "needing generosity". God is definitely taking me through a time of breaking that pride.

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Secondly, we have walked through a valley of darkness the past few months. And unless we had walked through it - I don't think either of us could have ever REALLY understood it. Kinda like being a parent...you don't REALLY understand it all until you experience it.

What is this valley of darkness? Feeling like there is no hope. Like no one values you. Like no one really cares. Feeling like your ministry/career is over with. .....even feeling like your family would be better off with someone else taking care of them. It is CRAZY. I now understand how people commit suicide. They just get into a REALLY bad place.

The good thing is that Brad and I have been able to talk openly about this. I don't know if it has been entirely a spiritual battle - but I do know that it has been SUFFOCATING. When you have $4000 of unexpected expenditures and you don't even have a salary - it can really get to you. Duh. Only God can give you the kind of peace you need to rise out of the valley. And He is being faithful to do that. However some days we just feel like we have fallen off into the dark valley again for no reason at all. CRAZY I tell you! Added note: When Moses came down from the mount...to find the people worshipping a stupid golden calf....and his anger overcame him....and he broke the tablets that God Himself had carved... could he have felt overwhelmed? Could he have wanted to just run away? How could he have just had this AMAZING encounter with God - and at the SAME time the people be doing this? Didn't God see what they were doing? How could God have let them do that WHILE he was in the midst of writing out the incredible commandments to live by? CRAZY!

Thirdly, when you leave everything you know and all of your stability to pursue a dream of learning everything there is to know about a specialized ministry....and that doesn't quite happen...you begin to second guess yourself....second guess your calling....second guess your value...you become low in confidence....and low in having direction. Good thing I see people in the Bible feeling these things- or I would really fall apart!

The media team here is more than swamped. I am not sure that they would ever have any "discretionary time" to pour into a couple of novices in a scheduled and intentional way...and on just the specific development of video ministry! These guys are AMAZING and do WAY more than just video stuff! They are techies in every sense of the word! To hear them talk makes my head want to fall off sometimes! Whew!

Brad knows he is free to "ask" for help anytime he wants to learn something new...but he is not going to bother people when he knows what it is like to carry a heavy load of responsiblities. He has been encouraged to watch online tutorials on everything he needs to learn - so he is doing his best to do just that. Ha! If he doesn't lose his mind first! He does appreciate that up until now he never even had the time to try to teach himself much in the area of video. Being a pastor was an all consuming task! Added note: Moses "thought" that he was just going to lead the people out by the amazing hand of God. I don't think he anticipated the struggles he would encounter. I don't think he had the plagues in mind when he went to "fulfill" God's call on His life.

Did that mean that he had not heard from God about leading God's people out of Egypt? No. Some may have said, "Whoops, Moses, you missed it. If it was God's Will for you to deliver the Israelites - Pharoah would have said "yes, you can go".... and you wouldn't have all of this trouble." But somehow Moses didn't listen to them. He was a friend of God and was following Him in every detail.

In addition, I think God even said something like ..."I will lead you to the land I will show you." Moses didn't even have all the answers! This is good stuff - and I need to keep preaching this to MYSELF! :)

Yes, we are right where we are supposed to be. So we definitely know that God must have a bigger plan than we had. We thought we were going to come here and learn all that there is to filming, producing, and creating video -so that we could go out and do specifically that in ministry after this year. At this point - there is no telling what God has in store for us - b/c he is teaching us such different "life things" instead! Uhgg. :)

I will post little "life snippets" the rest of this week....however today's update is the summary of "where we are". We continue the journey! Please continue to pray for us:

1. Pray that God will provide everything we need to sustain us.

2. Pray that God will carry us through the dark valleys and teach us how to conquer that spiritual battle. Pray that we will understand WHY we are experiencing this and be able to help others in this same place.

3. Pray that we will understand and discover exactly why God has us here for this season of our lives. Pray that He will reveal to us His will and direction for our ministry. Pray that God will be Brad's teacher in whatever skills and knowledge that he needs for the ministry in our future.

4. Pray that we will learn to enjoy every day - even when we are not "feeling" like enjoying it...that we will not "lose" this time in our lives because of our frustrations.

5. Pray that God will teach us how to be His servants. Authentic Christians. How to really LOVE people.