Macy's Heart

Whew!  I promised my special post about Macy to be here 6 weeks ago!  That was before I looked at my calendar!  We have had a whirlwind trip to DC to speak, our presbyter &  missionary retreat in Missouri,  applications and document process for FBI background checks, appointments for passports, and tax document prep.  Geez.  Busy, busy!

So...finally I re-visit sharing my story about Macy's heart today, and hope to get back on my usual blogging schedule.
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DISCLAIMER: I KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS ON GIRLS BEING BOY CRAZY AS JUST BEING PART OF GROWING UP....HOWEVER WE WANT TO TRY AND INSTILL IN OUR GIRLS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE THAT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BOY IS NOT SHALLOW...AND THAT GOD HAS DESIGNED US FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL.

SO - THIS IS JUST THE WAY WE FELT LED TO HANDLE THIS TOPIC IN OUR HOME!

A few months ago I found a paper Macy had been writing on that talked a lot about a little boy in her class last year.  It mentioned seeing his private parts....   Yikes!!!!  I wondered what she had heard or seen at school.  We are VERY careful about what she watches on TV.  Even if is a "kid" show - if they are constantly talking about kissing and making out - we DO NOT watch it!  So I decided that the time had come to be proactive about teaching her purity.  This was in October, so she was only 7 at the time!

I did some prep work first.  I PRAYED.  I asked God to show me a way to communicate to her the proper respect for her body and her heart.  And here is what He gave me:

I went to Wa-Mart and bought 2 little gift card tins that were identical.  In one I placed a $10 bill.  The other one I beat the mess out of with my hammer and stomped it into the mud.  (I really took out my anger at having to teach my 7 year old about purity!)

I also went to the Christian book store and looked for SOMETHING like a little figurine that would help me teach this lesson...  and found the perfect thing...

Then I picked Macy up from school that day for a special Mommy & Macy date.  We went to Chili's and had some nachos....I knew if she didn't EAT - she wouldn't hear a word I would say!  The girl is starving as soon as she gets out of school each day!

Next, we went down the road to Cross Church, which has a beautiful campus with a little lake, fountain, and 3 giant crosses.  I told her I needed to talk to her about something.  I showed her the paper I had found, and she got really sheepish.  After I questioned her relentlessly about if she had seen anyone's private parts, or if anyone had touched her (as someone that was molested as a kid - I know these are important questions), I could tell that she had just been exposed to kids teasing about showing their private parts.  I could also tell that she innocently didn't really understand the joking, and the other kids may not either for that matter.... but the door to curiosity had been opened.  So it was time to DIVE in!

We talked about how God had created our bodies and that certain parts are private....and that when you get married you share your heart with your husband.  I showed her the two little tins and asked her to pick one.  I asked her why she didn't pick the dirty, smashed up one....  "because it is yucky" was her response!  I then shared with her that when we talk about our private parts or let people see or touch our private parts - that is like making our heart for our husband all dirty.

Me:  "Do you think that your future husband will want a dirty yucky heart from you?  Or will he want the clean one?"
Macy:  "The clean one!"
Me:  "If you talk about your private parts with boys or show each other your private parts - that is not saving your heart for your husband.  God has created you as a very special girl, and he has picked out a very special boy to one day be your husband.  You need to protect your heart from boys.  You don't need to be boy crazy and talking about kissing them or seeing their private parts!  You need to save your heart for your future husband!  Do you think daddy wanted to get a clean heart from me?  Or did he want my heart to be all dirty?"
Macy:  "Daddy wanted a clean heart! I want to keep my heart clean for my husband".

We then prayed that God would help her to keep her heart pure for her husband, and to help her to know how to handle when kids at school talk about things they shouldn't.

After we got home that night, Brad and I together gave her a gift to help her remember this day and this lesson. (We wanted Daddy to be a part of this conversation too!)

We gave her a really pretty figurine of a girl holding a heart.  We told her that this was to help her remember how important it is to protect her heart and keep it safe for her future husband. (Seeing it also reminds us to continue the conversation and ask her about boys, school, etc...)

Wrestling

Mondays with Macy and Mia

You would think we had a couple of boys if you could have heard all of the scuffling at our house this week.  Every time I turned around the girls were in the floor wrestling, pushing, rolling, and thankfully giggling.  Even though there was pulled hair and almost carpet burns - they just kept huffing, puffing, and laughing.  I was afraid it would get too rough and there would be an eruption of tears.  However, they seemed to just enjoy it!

I captured a "sweet" boxing match in front of the tree.  One of the most beautiful sounds in the world is that of my children's belly laugh.  It's like music.

Gum that Melts

Mondays with Macy & Mia

Yesterday during our usual Sunday afternoon trip between churches, Mia went to sleep in the back seat with gum in her mouth.  I took it out of her mouth and threw it away so that it wouldn't mysteriously end up in her hair... again...

When she woke up - with a voice of TOTAL amazement, she proclaimed, "My gum MELTED!"  :)

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Reading has come alive for Macy this year since she discovered Junie B. Jones.  She devoured a book yesterday while we were driving, and then finished it at the restaurant while we were eating with the pastors last night!  I am so THRILLED to see her finally finding the joy in reading!  Yay!!!

Sweetness

Mondays with Macy and Mia

The other night Mia just melted my heart...

We were having prayer time before going to bed, and I asked the girls what they were thankful for.
Mia said in her sweet little voice, "...you....my sister....and my daddy!"  And then she wrinkled up her nose and snuggled up in her blanket.

Those words shook me for a moment.  This little girl that was halfway around the world and alone at one time -is now placed in our family.  We love her, we adore her, and can not imagine life without her.  Her thankfulness tonight seems so simple to her.  Yet I know how profound it really is.

We have been blessed beyond measure by adoption.
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Later that night, Macy came into the living room to give me her book and flashlight she had been using to read.  She then asked if  I could move Mia.  She said Mia had gotten up into the top bunk with her!  Macy had been reading to her for the past 20 minutes!  Macy said, "Mia is now fast asleep!"  I love it when there is sweetness between my girls...because we have our moments!

Macy finds Spain in Chicago Airport

We flew to DC this past month for a service... and Macy was walking along - and then pointed UP!  She knows our Spain Flag!  I'm so proud.... sniff.....

That's My Girl!

Macy was talking about "Zach" from Disney's Zach and Cody the other night. She said he 'kissed' a girl.....and then she giggled about it. I thought...hmmmm....what perceptions is she getting about kissing....this could be a teachable moment...

I wrinkled my nose and said, "People don't always do the right things on TV shows, do they?" She said "Noooo".

I told her, people are not supposed to kiss until they are married....like me and daddy....but on TV they don't always make good decisions." (We will keep telling her this until she is 30...by the way!)

I then asked her (role play here!) .."what if a boy came up and said...'Let's kiss Macy'?
She said..." I would say NO and run away!"

To which I pressed it further...."But what if he said "Macy -everybody is doing it - let's kiss!"
She then said, "I would say NO! And then PUSH HIM DOWN!"

I pondered for a moment....should I correct her about this seemingly violent reaction to a boy's advances for a kiss? Should I teach her..."No, don't push him...just tell him no...."

But I decided to say...."Good job!" :)
That's a mom for you! LOL!
By the way - it was such a deep conversation...she was looking deep into my eyes and we were REALLY talking. I loved it!

Macy & Mia Story

I can't believe I haven't told this story yet:

We were taking the subway to China Town right after we moved here....and when Macy heard me talking and saying we were going to "Chinatown"....she looked up so inquisitively...and said "But we already have a baby sister!"

Soooooo cute!

By the way - they are playing better together than they ever have. I think it is because all they have is each other now. (But on the other side of the coin they are also still having more skirmishes than before....b/c of ALL of the time together!)